• (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
  • Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
  • Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
  • Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
  • Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
  • (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

pantere:

do u ever see a boy and think damn you could be a 50,000 note gif post on tumblr
  • me: *likes someone*
  • me: *thinks i have a chance*
  • me: *remembers what i look like*
  • me: *cries*

thingssicanneversay:

homeyra:

scheminlowkey:

i heard muslims caused the oklahoma tornado

Crying.

Yeah we got that kind of power
finest-barbie: officiallanaa: Love ❌⭕
ukrainianbarbiedoll: Instagram: @elenaglotova

laugh-your-butt-off:

i was bored so i put this on and sat on my kitchen floor in the dark waiting for my mom to get home and when she saw me she screamed so loud the neighbors called the cops

image

(Source: moistpits)

teeeeen-idle:

selling our soul to this website was probably in the terms and conditions that we didn’t read

“you’re so hot,” i whispered

as i took my plate of food out of the microwave

(Source: formido)